A Christmas Party err 'fiasco' to Remember
by FWvidChick
Summary: Lois and Clark throw a holiday party for the JLA at the farm and it all goes wrong. *re-edited*
1. Part 1: The Holiday Spirit

**A Christmas Party err 'fiasco' to Remember**

A Christmas story..  
Pairing: Clois and JLA characters  
Type: Comedy, drama and romance.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing (obviously) and I just enjoy writing it. Its called fandom.  
Spoilers:May be references from any of the 10 seasons  
Rating: Pg 13.. because well their adults and its a party..

I am a bit hopped up on cold meds so i apologize if this sucks or the editing is crap.

_**Fic has been re-edited.. no more stupid grammar mistakes from the headcold i had when I wrote it.**_

**The Description: **Okay..so it wasn't exactly what I was intending when I got the bright idea to have a Christmas party with the Justice League members, and a few other close friends.

I had thought it would be a nice simple affair. An exchange in gifts and the usual banter, Clark and I would then see everyone off and snuggle up together. It was our first Christmas since we married and he had became superman. And while I know I should have gone with the whole just us scenario, I couldn't help it. My inner Martha Stewart was screaming to come out.. I won't be listening to her again. Ever.

* * *

ღ** Prologue** ღ

Lois laid half awake, subconsciously waiting for the familiar whooshing sound that told her Clark was back. She was tired and needed to sleep but missing him trumped exhaustion. It had been crazy Christmas season, but the shopping was done, and all that she needed to do today was the last bits of preparation for the party.

This year she was going to throw a Christmas do no one would forget. She had a total illogical (if not physical) urge to knock Clark's socks off, as well as the rest of his clothes, with her hostessing skills. Perhaps in the future the Lois Lane-Kent parties would be renowned, one could always hope.

Okay so, she had actually never thrown a holiday party before, but she had planned several weddings, been a campaign manager and worked her way up the reporting ladder. How hard could throwing a party for their friends be?

If only she had known fate was not with her on this, she would have settled for a tub of holiday ice cream and a naked Clark Kent.

"You should be asleep, gorgeous..."

Lois hadn't realized that she had spaced out and missed his arrival. "I had lost my favorite blanket..." she murmured as she rolled over to look at him.

"Well, we can remedy that now." he crawled in beside her and pulled her close "You sure you want to do this...the party I mean"

Lois leaned up on one elbow and looked at him "Of course I do...it was my idea! "

He pulled an expression she wasn't sure how to read "Clark, are you changing your mind?"

Pushing a stray hair behind her ear, he shook his head and smiled "No, not at all. I just want to make sure you're okay. You've been sort of ..."

Lois narrowed her eye's and sat up "Sort of what..."

He took a deep breath "Obsessed...since you decided you wanted to throw this party, it's been pretty much all you talk about, and I think we have enough decorations up for whole neighborhood."

"Really, Clark!" She punched him in the shoulder, taking some satisfaction she didn't have to hold back, but finding it equally annoying he didn't even pretend to feel it "It's not that bad." she said defensively.

"LOois...I can see the farm lit up like a Christmas tree from the stratosphere..." Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration but not far from the truth. He didn't even want to know what the electricity bill would be for this.

She yawned before she could reply, the need to sleep really hitting her "It's going to be great, Smallville. " She laid back down and rested her head into his shoulder. He pulled her tight to him.

"I hope so for your sake."

"If you're there of course it will..." the words were mumbled.

"Sleep well, babe." he whispered. Smiling at her light snoring, Clark kissed the top of her head "I'm not going anywhere." ღ

The next morning, long after the rooster had crowed and Clark had already descended for chores, Lois padded down the stairs and into the kitchen. She was surprised to see a small black box sitting on the counter, not expecting anything she wondered who it could be from. Picking up the package, she turned it over to read the label while opening the door for an eager Shelby.

"Yea I know its cold. I told you that last night you silly dog." Shelby gave a whine as if to say 'don't I know it' and shook the cold off.

Lois' smile turned into a frown, the label only had 'Open right away' signed with a single 'X'. That was odd. It wasn't from Clark, the black box wasn't decorated with his usual style of a bow or rose. Chloe would have at least put something to hint that it was her. She knew what Oliver intended for them for Christmas, Martha's gifts had already arrived. Who in the world would just put 'X' as a signature, a kiss maybe.

Thinking she might be wrong about it being from Clark, Lois opened the box excitedly, then paused. _Hmm, red mistletoe?!_Smiling, Lois pulled it out and a spicy fruity scent filled the air.

"Well, isn't that nice, Shelby. Something more for our party," she grabbed a chair and hung the mistletoe under the arch between the kitchen and living room "another excuse to kiss Clark as many times as I want." As if she needed any.

Stepping back to look around at the heavily decorated house, Lois breathed in the rich aroma that now filled the air. Feeling suddenly that all would be well, the little bits of worry and stress about hosting the party faded. In fact, everything she had been worrying about in general for the last three months seemed silly to be concerned about now.

"Tonight Shelby.. Tonight will go down in history."

* * *

ღ

ღ **Part 1: The Holiday Spirit** ღ

_It started off well. Oliver came early to help, Clark was the usual Clark, running around on my orders, bless him. Shortly after, the guests arrived and everything was going so wonderful.. smiling faces, mingling happy voices with cheery Christmas music. Couldn't have been more perfect.._

ღ Just before the party begins

ღ

"Okay so that's the last of it." Lois took a step back, looking around at snacks and goodies she had arranged.

"Did you invite an army because last time I checked there wasn't that many of us." Oliver said in between licking his fingers.

Lois turned and gave him the 'haha' look "Emil is a big snacker, Clark can eat for the lot of you if he wanted to, and A.C has a pretty hearty appetite as well, not to mention Bart."

"So you actually got A.C and Mera to come?"

Grabbing the mixing bowl with barely a trace of chocolate brownie mix left in it, from Oliver hands; Lois replied slightly annoyed "A.C said Mera was excited at the idea."She turned and pulled a funny expression. "Which surprised me, I didn't really expect either of them to want to come...I suppose it's good snow is wet and all."

"Makes it helpful for the fish folk." Ollie grinned back with a smirk and grabbed a couple snacks.

"You know Oliver, when I asked for you to come early I didn't mean for you to come and be a smart ass."

Oliver looked over his shoulder at his backside "It is a fine smart ass isn't it? Sorry Legs...can't help it."

Lois groaned, shaking her head and went to readjust the Christmas tree again. When she passed under the mistletoe, the spicy scent filled her up and she felt her nervousness fade again. Turning to look at Oliver, she smiled "If you want to be helpful like you promised, go and take that ass of yours and help Clark."

Oliver about choked on the chip he had stuck in his mouth "Helmpfh Claark!" He swallowed "...Since when does he need help..."

"Since he convinced me the house was a little overdecorated and you can be company for him as he tries to figure out what to take down."

Shaking his head, Oliver grabbed his coat and muttered "It's cold and Mr. Solarman doesn't feel it."

"Oliver..."

"Right right. Yes ma'am" He went towards door, now his turn to pass under the mistletoe, inhaling the rich heady scent. He turned back to Lois just as he was about to go out the door."You know Lois...I'm glad you talked me into this..."

Lois gave him a smile back, feeling the same light-hearted happiness he was "You're welcome Ollie, anytime."

He was back, however, a few moments later, poking his head in. "Meant to say something earlier... You do realize that your porch swing is broken?"

Lois had turned towards him when he reopened the door, but upon hearing the words 'porch swing' she froze...flashes of skin on skin ran through her mind. Starting to turn red, she looked away quickly and managed to get out "Oh yeah?"

Oliver didn't seem to notice her reaction"Yeah, it looks like..."he paused for a momen. t"Someone jumped on it."

Turning even more redder, Lois swallowed..._why didn't you fix it or move it already, Clark?!_

Managing to compose herself, Lois turned "Yeah, not sure what happened there...or when."She lied. "Thanks, I'll let Clark know."

"Oh, I'll tell him for ya..." He said, before closing the door and Lois rolled her eyes wondering how Clark would react.

It was so worth it though, she thought, not even embarrassment could change the fun of that swing.

ღ** 40 minutes later as the party was under way**

"He did! I spent about a half hour convincing him otherwise." Emil continued after popping a few of the bite sized snacks in his mouth. Mera laughed.

"It was the tackiest costume I've ever seen." Oliver was saying to Courtney"And..." He went in closer glancing at Clark. "that's saying something."Courtney giggled and shook her head "I rather like 'his' suit."

"You would...with it being red and blue" Oliver laughed.

"Not to mention the tights" Tess added in. Oliver gave her a glare. "If that's some sort of remark on my..."

"They're tights Oliver."

He shook his head in exasperation and almost stumbled doing so, causing Tess to smirk. "They are not..." He insisted, the never ending debate continued.

Lois just smiled, soaking up the happy atmosphere. Everyone (well almost everyone) she had wanted there had made it, all were enjoying themselves, and the best bit was watching Clark mingle with a Santa hat on. What had possessed him to wear it, she didn't know, but was pleased he was putting so much effort into helping to make the whole thing turn out so nicely.

Noticing how the snacks and nog where a bit low, she went back towards the kitchen, only to be suddenly grabbed and pulled into strong arms. Clark's gorgeous smile beaming down at her. "Hey Mrs. Claus, how about a kiss?"

Lois tilted her head to the side and grinned back. "That would be your..." she did a mental count "sixth mistletoe kiss tonight. Aren't you greedy?" she wasn't complaining.

"Is that a problem?" One of his fingers tracing a circle on the small of her back, in the exact spot that had a tendency to make her moan. Biting her lip and the urge to react, Lois kissed him."You're a naughty Santa."

He whispered in her ear "You've seen nothing yet..." He liked holding her and didn't want to let her go. He hadn't actually expected to enjoy the evening as much as he was, he felt so light, and though he was sure someone had already spiked the egg nog he knew that couldn't be the reason for his sense of euphoria. Only thing he could think of was the power of those hazel eyes that stared into his own. He kissed her again.

After pulling away breathlessly, Lois asked in a whisper. "Did Oliver mention the swing?"she had to know, it would drive her crazy otherwise.

Clark actually blushed. "Yes...if I had've been using a ladder I would have fallen off it." he then grinned at her while waggling his brows. "I'll get it fixed soon."

"Clark!" her eyes widened "shh...besides it's too cold to use it now."

He pulled her further into the kitchen, loving the fruity scent that filled the house, still keeping his voice low. "I can bring it in." He smirked and grabbed some more of the snacks and handed them to her.

It was Lois' turn to blush, then glance at the party goers to make sure no one was listening.  
"Smallville, it's only fun because it's outside."

He pretended to be shocked and grabbed the nog. "Lois Lane-Kent...you're a bit of an exhibitionist, aren't you?"

"Just as much as you." She smirked, "but really it's not exhibitionism if we don't get caught."she raised a pointed eyebrow. Nor did she ever really intend too.

"Hmm...true " He gave a conceding nod, not bothering to hide his grin as they made their way back into the living room. Despite sharing the night with all their friends rather then just Lois, he felt happy and content. Seeing her with those sparkling eyes, that gorgeous smile beaming among the Christmas festivities, made his heart swell.

ღ

_I should have realized that something was wrong when Oliver couldn't stand on his two feet while insisting he hadn't had that much to drink. I tasted the nog and yes it was spiked but not enough to cause someone like Ollie to flop over. Emil was acting a bit funny too, and he didn't even like egg nog._

But I thought, okay, maybe Oliver didn't want to admit to having had a few early and maybe Emil had the same problem. Everyone else seemed fine, but the truth was...they were all a little too 'fine'.

A.C. patted Clark on the back as they looked down at the unconscious billionaire hero sprawled out on the couch. "You throw a great party man!"

1. Clark grinned back and threw the blanket over Oliver, not bothering to pull the corner of it off the guys face."Thank the wife."

Turning in the direction of the kitchen where Lois was now making coffee, A.C. Yyelled, "Hey Lois! This party...its great!"Then looked back down again at Oliver. "Best look for the green stalk"

Emil laughed in the background, almost falling off the stool he was sitting on, which in turn brought a round of chuckles from everyone else in the room. Mera came down the stairs, hair wet, looking refreshed and gave A.C. a curious look. "Go have your turn.. its warm in here."

Though that statement was nowhere near funny, several people snickered as A.C. handed his glass to Mera and went up the stairs.

Lois called from the kitchen. "Hey Clark, can you come here."

Making his way past the chatty party goers, several of which were now discussing things to do to Oliver while he snored, Clark grinned mindlessly. He was having way too much fun.

Lois, however, had begun to stress again, despite all the happy voices coming from the living room. She felt a panic rise inside and leaned her head up against the fridge. Clark's lopsided grin wasn't helping when he came up to her. "What's up, Lois."

She spun around about to say something but found she wasn't really sure why she had called for him."Um..." She handed him a platter. "Can you bring this out there please.."

Clark nodded, the grin fading at the look on her face. "Lois, is there something wrong?"

She sighed. "I don't know Clark, I guess the long day is just suddenly hitting me."

He put the platter down and cupped her face. "Hey...sweetheart..." He gave the comforting smile that always told her that he'd do whatever it took to make everything alright. "it's going fine, everyone is happy."

Lois took a deep breath and smiled "I know."

Clark picked the platter back up, took her hand and they went back to the living room. They hadn't quite gotten there when it occurred to Lois she forgot the cup of coffee for Oliver.

"Wait Clark, one second." She stopped them, the mistletoe hanging above. Lois turned to move, when she found Clark's, now empty, arms were around her.

"No babe...it can wait." He said huskily before kissing her deeply, his hands firmly placed on her behind.

For a split second, Lois thought of pulling away, that it wasn't the time or place for this kind of a kiss. But with the heavy holiday scent in the air, she found she didn't care and returned the kiss with the same passion. Her own hands wandered, their mouths explored, the heat rising between them. It was complete bliss till a cattle call broke the magic of the moment.

"Ho ho ho...look at who needs to get a room.."

Lois opened her eye's while Clark kissed down her neck, realizing where they were and who was there with them. Normally she would have blushed and probably fled the room with some excuse, instead a light bulb went off.

Eyes flickering around, she took it in, Oliver laying on the couch. Tess and Emil giggling in one corner. The behavior of the rest of the party...everyone laughing, eyes glazed over. She pushed Clark back and saw the same look in his eyes as well, the rosy colour of his cheeks.

_Were they all high? What in the world could affect Clark like this?_

Lois took a step back, Clark took a step towards her intent on continuing the kiss, and the others continued to grin as if they were eager to watch her and Clark.

_Oh My Gawd! Was it Red K? did someone bring Red K to the party?!_

ღ/ღ


	2. Part 2: Super High

ღ **Part 2: Super High** ღ

_It didn't happen as fast as it usually does, the Lois Lane bolt reflex. But it did kick in and I fled the house. With how he had looked at me I was surprised Clark let me go. The rest of the group were just as bad, their behavior is something I'll never forget, and I have to admit a part of me wanted to stay there with them. It was as if all common sense and sane thinking had fled the building._

_I ran for several minutes till I collapsed and hit my knees into the deep snow. I gulped down huge breaths of air and the panic turned to clarity. I realized if I went back into the house I would soon be like them, something in that house had changed everyone. But what?_

_So sitting in the snow, freezing without a coat, I knew I had to get things under control. Figure out how to return everyone else to their usual selves. However, I was afraid that if I went back in to get them out I'd revert back. Even in the cold air with reality sinking in, I had this urge to..to...I couldn't even get myself to admit what I wanted._

ღ

Lois made her way to the barn and a grabbed a blanket out of one of the trunks in the loft. It was so cold and she didn't want to give in to the desire for the warm house. The warm house with the wonderful smell and ohh, Clark Kent's lips on her. Taking a deep breath and shaking herself out of those thoughts, Lois sat on the couch and put her head in her hands. What now?

Whatever it was that was causing the behavior had to be in the house because she wasn't feeling it so much now. But why was she able to even snap out of it? Lois buried her face into a pillow, her head hurting from the thoughts. A winter breeze shuffled through the barn gently caressing her cheeks, bringing with it a memory.

_That was it!_ She had been making the coffee. Shelby had whined to go out and when Lois had opened the door for him, a gust of wind had blown over her. Cooling her off, and...and... _what..something else had changed?!_

_I knew I had to check out the house and see what was going on, then maybe I could figure out what to do. So there I was sneaking up to my house. The cold wet snow having now soaked my dress while a lousy blanket had become my coat.._

ღ

Clark had watched her go wondering why would anyone would want to leave? He thought about following but became distracted by A.C who came down the stairs. "What did I miss?"

"Clark and Lois gettin' it on..." Bart quipped.

A.C snickered. "Hey, hey boyscout!" and looked over at Oliver. "He still out?"

"Yep, You and Clark have got to hear this...Victor has this great idea."

Oliver had been pushed into a sitting position, his head fallen to one side, his snoring sounding like a dying elephant. Emil, who could barely focus on one thought, had been shoved next to him to help prop Oliver up. He kept turning his head, with a lazy grin plastered on his face, trying to follow the different conversation going on around him. Which, if he had of had his senses he would have been alarmed at the nature of the discussions.

One such discussion involved the final decision of what to do to Oliver, simply because they could and he wasn't able to defend himself. Clark doubled over with laughter when he heard the plan for the poor green archer.

Pushing the porch swing aside quietly as she could, Lois peeked in the window, wishing the curtains had been pulled back more. What she saw, once she managed to find a good spot to peek through, made her momentarily forget she was freezing. "What are they doing with my stockings!" She whispered then saw Oliver and did a double take. "Oh my ga! Oh you have got to be kidding me, syrup too!" She needed to break this up, it was fast becoming a cross between a horror movie and a frat party.

Back in the barn, Lois paced "This is not what I intended...nothing like it. How is it that one simple thing...one party? Can turn out to be a complete and utter nightmare!" She stomped her feet to keep warm, continuing her rant "Oh how perfect - my dress, shoes...party...all ruined, I get to be out in the cold sneaking around my own house while the Superheroes act like super stoners by the warm fire!"

At the sound of yelling and something breaking from the house, Lois went for the tool box. The green kryptonite..._where was it?! Wait, Clark had moved it._ After several minutes of searching she finally found the little lead box with its lethal green contents. Was she actually going to use this on Clark.. when it was Christmas? Another crashing noise made her cringe. _Yep_, Lois thought, _I am so using this. If red K was somehow involved this will end this holiday nightmare right now!_

Heading back towards the house with determination, she wasn't going to weaken because Clark would hurt for a moment. Who knows what else they were doing to Ollie or the house for that matter. She was stopped dead in her tracks when the yelling sounded like it was coming just inside the front door. Maybe she should head to the back? She ducked down behind, well a bush, when the door suddenly flung open.

"Grab her! don't let her scream."

"Get your..." the words got garbled "...off me!"  
Dinah came flying out, high over head to land face first in the snow about 40 ft from the house.

Lois could hear Clark's voice though she couldn't see him. "Don't think of coming back in..." His voice went from steel to softening. "But hey, if you see Lois send her back."

Lois heard the door slam, feeling unsure whether to be insulted for being an afterthought or to feel bad for Dinah, who now was standing up. The woman looked extremely brassed off and leaned forward into a stance that told Lois she was going to use that scream of hers. Without a second thought Lois barreled into her at full pelt. The two woman went flying back and hit a snow bank. Dinah started violently struggling and opened her mouth to scream, Lois bopped her quickly on the nose shutting her right up.

"Shh!" She hissed.

Dinah stopped once she realized who it was. "What the hell?! Are Lois and Clark taking up a new hobby. because seriously...throwing me out of the house and then hitting me?"

Lois decided at that moment that being insulted suited her more then feeling sorry for the other woman "I remember once being tied up and getting a kick to the head. so you can hardly talk..." She snapped back.

Glaring, Dinah stood up and brushed snow off of her. Like Lois she was without a coat and in a dress which was getting soaked through. What made it worse was the wind and snow had picked up, making it hard to see or hear well.

Grabbing Dinah, Lois pulled her towards the barn, snatching her one of the stable blankets, putting it around her shoulders.

"Sorry..."

"Yeah." Dinah managed before grabbing her head in pain. Lois knew exactly what she was feeling and helped her to sit.

"It will pass in a moment." Lois sat down across from her.

After several minutes Dinah finally looked up. "Tell me this is a dream, because otherwise you're going to kill them when you see what they...we did."

Lois sighed. "Its not a dream, though I wish it was." then held up a hand "Please don't. I don't want to know...not yet. I have to first figure out how to stop this without being like that again." She indicted the noise coming from the house.

_We sat and talked quietly for a while, trying to sort out not only what to do but what had happened. There was only one thing we knew for certain, it was pandemonium in the house and we had to stop it. I wasn't feeling so secure about the Green Kryptonite either. Not only had we come to the conclusion that Red K was probably not the issue, though we couldn't say for sure, but I felt bad at the idea of using it on Clark._

But feeling bad wasn't going to change the urgency of our predicament.

Dinah looked up startled at Lois."Wait! Zatanna, she wasn't in the room when..." She pulled a look that Lois took to be embarrassment."...she wasn't there...you don't think that."

Lois shook her head. "Zatanna wouldn't have. But I do find it curious as to where she is?" She couldn't remember seeing her when she had fled. Zatanna had been at the party, so where was she now?

ღ/ღ


	3. Part 3: Party Delight

ღ **Part 3: Party Delight** ღ

_Looking back, we should have been able to see what was wrong but I guess when one has been dropped right in it one is bound to miss the obvious. Dinah and I came up with a plan, far from foolproof or even very good, but it was what we could do being bitterly cold and well...desperate._

_ღ_

Worried about getting hypothermia or pneumonia, we knew we had to get out of our dresses and into something dry. It hit me that Clark had a couple of old shirts somewhere in the barn, keeps them around for emergencies. Digging around, I found them at the bottom of one of his chests which luckily for us I knew where the key was.

Dinah ended up in a t-shirt and I in one of his flannels...so off we went to initiate our plan in somewhat cold, wet underwear and drowning in Clark's shirts, with blankets wrapped around our waists. I am so glad there wasn't a camera in sight.

"You sure you want to be the distraction?"

"It's either that or scream your windows down. Your choice"

Lois rolled her eyes "Not much of one" She muttered feeling nervous about going back into that house. What if she decided to stay? Become like one of them again. She shuddered at the thought of what her and Clark would do. _Can't think like that, Lois..._

They were both hunkered down outside the kitchen window while they discussed it, trying hard to prepare for the festivities from hell.

"I'll check upstairs quickly for Zatanna and then head straight out."

"What if they don't fall for it?"

"If I knew what you had done, maybe I could think of something that would definitely bring Clark after you but..." Lois let it hang in the air. Dinah didn't seem to want to admit to her why the rest of the party goers had tossed her out. One day maybe Lois would find it funny, right now though it was just a little inconvenient.

Dinah adjusted her blanket and refused to look Lois in the eyes."It's too bad there isn't three of us.. then I could use you as a hostage."

"Yeah, normally that would work, but I don't see Clark leaving the house even for that. I mean normal Clark would have come after me, but he didn't."

Lois could tell even with the dim back door lighting that Dinah had turned red."What happened?! Did you kiss him?!" Lois pressed her lips together, waiting for a response.

Dinah's head shot up"NO! I wish..." at the look on Lois' face she continued a bit defensively. "I mean I'd rather it had been that...never mind, really you have nothing to be worried about. Even like this Clark has eyes only for you."

With narrowed eyes, Lois accepted that for now, not that it mattered. It seemed at some point everyone they knew got a kiss off Clark. She had hoped, when he had taken to wearing glasses, that he'd give off too much of the dork factor and repel the women around him. It hadn't worked, and Clark being Clark meant he tended to get ambushed from time to time. She had decided it wouldn't have surprised her if Oliver and the rest of the Justice League all one day admitted that they had got their share of him. Poor Clark, it wasn't easy being hot and clueless.

Lois rubbed her cold hands and grumbled. "Lets just get this over with."

Nodding, Dinah went back to the front, trying the door knob she could tell it wasn't locked so she took a deep breath and walked right in. At the sight of Oliver, she froze.

When she heard the front door open Lois pushed the back door in slightly peeking in, no one was in the kitchen._Oh Gawd, don't let me become a stoner.. please!_

Christmas music blaring and arguing voices helped with covering up any noise she may have made coming in and would cover her further, biggest problem remained with being unseen.

Crawling across the floor on her hands and knees, Lois ignored the unconscious strung up Oliver though that was kind of hard, especially with the syrup dripping off of him and on to her carpet. She went straight for the back stairs, still praying she would be able to make herself leave when the time came.

Once up the stairs, she called quietly"Zatanna? You up here?"

There was no response, well not that she could tell, there was plenty of yelling from down below. She checked the rooms quickly then paused and went back to the guest room. Something seemed off...she couldn't quiet put her finger on it. Staring at the room, Lois realized that the closet door was not where it should have been. Spreading her fingers over the door hinges, she found that they weren't really there, the air where they were suppose to be shimmered and rolled away likes waves. _What the..?_

ღ

Dinah took a moment to adjust to the sight of Oliver and his predicament, figuring it was probably best he was asleep and had no clue what they had done to him. It was time to give Lois the distraction she needed, shutting the door hard, Dinah smirked and loudly exclaimed. "BOY, was it cold out there."  
The room went quiet except for the music, all eyes turned on her. An involuntary shiver went down her spine at the looks on the men's faces. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea._

Clark and AC stood up at the same time and took a step toward her, Dinah swallowed knowing how bad this was. Lois had made it clear she didn't want all the glass in the house broke, which didn't leave much defense against the two men, especially Clark. Kicking him was like diving into the ground and expecting to swim. Never mind the rest of the men's arsenal. She had to keep her distance and hope he didn't resort to frying her with his heat vision, she hoped he wasn't going to get that bad.

Looking over to Tess, Mera, and Courtney in hopes of some sort of reasonable support, Dinah found herself immensely disappointed. All three women looked completely zoned out, they were all giggles as if everything was amusing. Which was a big contrast to the men in the room.

"What are you doing in here? I told you to stay out" Clark snapped.

"It's cold out there, Clark!"

"Why didn't you just leave then?"

"Oh I don't know...maybe because my keys were in here with my coat!" She glanced around for said coat and pointed "See! I just came back in for them."

Clark walked over to the coat and flung it at her. "Please, by all means...now go!"

_Okay so now what? Come on Lois..._

ღ

Lois was completely baffled by the door. So was it some sort of spell, hologram, and where was the normal closet door?

She about jumped twenty feet when the door vanished and a hand suddenly reached out touching her shoulder. "Don't scream!" A voice hissed quietly.

Recognizing the voice, Lois clamped down on her yelp and turned quickly around "Zatanna!"

"Lois, I'm sorry." She started.

Lois frowned. "You did this?" spreading her arms out, meaning the state of everyone.

Shaking her head, Zatanna sat on the edge of the bed, she looked exhausted. "No, but I should have been able to stop it from going this far."

Lois felt confused and a bit like her head was floating."Okay...well...we need to get out of here, then you can explain fully."

Zatanna shook her head. "I've been trying to locate the enchantment, if I leave I can't do that."

"If you stay, you'll end up like them."

"No, Lois you don't understand.-" She stopped when the noise from downstairs became quite deafening. Male voices could be heard in a heated argument.

For the life of her, Lois couldn't make out what the issue was but figured it was a good time to get out of there, hoping Dinah was faring well.

"Sorry Magic Lady." Lois grabbed her, shaking off the strange sensation that had begun to fill her. "We can't stay." She pushed Zatanna towards the door.

ღ

"Give it to me."

"No! its mine..." Bart held the present behind his back.

Emil was digging into chocolate liqueurs while Victor was picking up each present under the tree, shaking them.

"Look here speedy! You don't hand that to me and I'm gonna …" A.C. went on.

Dinah wasn't sure what was more pathetic. The two men fighting over a gift or the fact they were fighting over a gift that wasn't theirs. She recognized the wrapping, it was hers to Courtney. Lois had assigned everyone a task of giving someone else a gift. Sadly, they hadn't got around to exchanging them before this nightmare began.

Clark was distracted with the others which had allowed Dinah a breather, yet she was still unsure of what to do. Instinct said to leave but she wasn't about to desert Lois. It felt like she had received an extra gift when she noticed Lois and Zatanna moving to the back door. The men luckily were all to busy arguing and shoving amongst themselves to notice.

Once Lois pushed Zatanna out the door, Dinah made her move. She grabbed for Tess who was the closest to her and yanked her out the front door. Relieved when they made it back outside and into the cold air. She hadn't realized till she stood outside that she had begun to feel funny. But there was nothing like freezing in a blanket and t-shirt in winter weather to snap one out of it.

Lois had made the mistake of looking to make sure Dinah had gotten out. When she turned back around to go out the back door she walked right into the familiar chest of her unmovable husband.

"Lois," He looked down at her with a flushed face and glazed over eyes, the expression on his face was far more worrisome however. "You came back in!"

"Ah yeah...needed to..." Lois eye's darted around the room. _No, no, no, no...I can't do this..._

"I missed you." His voice taking on a sweet softness and he pulled her towards the living room. All Lois could think was how she couldn't let his Kent charm get to her. _Focus Lois!_

"I missed you too." It was true, but it was the lucid thinking Clark she missed not the randy party version.

He smiled in response, drawing her flush into him. "Then prove it..." He whispered, plunging her mouth with his own.

Lois tried to fight him off only in doing so she inhaled deeply, bringing more of the Christmas scent into her lungs. The lightheaded feeling she had turned into something else, a complete lack of care. It really was the best Christmas ever wasn't it? Especially with what Clark's magic mouth was doing.

_So there I was... completely overcome by Clark and the enchantment. So much so that I didn't hear the fighting, or music, or even noticed that some how Clark and I had ended up in the pantry, on the floor. I only wanted one thing and that was Clark._

ღ/ღ


	4. Part 4: Festive High Jinks

_ღ _**Part 4: Festive high jinks**_** ღ** _

_There are times when the embarrassment is off the Richter scale but the enjoyment, that is at Def Con one. And there is just nothing that can be done about it. It doesn't matter how much of a desire there is to pull away or to get out of the situation because when it comes to Clark, he knows exactly where to touch me and how. Normally this is a good thing, a very good thing...but it so wasn't at that moment._

_ღ_

While I was incapacitated of a sort, the girls were taking stock of the situation and planning a rescue. The boys, well, their decent into madness continued with my home paying the price. It was in no way the Christmas party I imagined.

Dinah came back to the barn from peeking in the windows, "It's not good. I can't see Clark or Lois, A.C. and Bart are still fighting, and Oliver is well..." she let that hang.

Tess lifted up her aching head, which was taking longer to clear, though it wasn't a surprise considering how long she had been in the house. "What exactly is going on?" She looked a tad pissed off.

Zatanna stood "There is an enchantment ...whatever it is, it seems to be localized to the house itself. I was trying to trace it when Lois pulled me out." she added the last with touch of annoyance to her voice.

Dinah gave Zatanna a look, " Good thing too, you weren't exactly resisting the effects!"

Zatanna didn't say anything, she knew it was true. The moment she got out the door she found she had been able to finally really think. Now though, she still had to figure out the culprit for all of this.

"Are you sure its an object, not a person or something we all ate?" Tess added, holding her head.

"It's an object. I felt it as soon as I arrived."

"Why didn't you say something?" Both Dinah and Tess exclaimed at the same time, trading looks.  
Zatanna threw her hands up," Look, I wasn't sure what it was I was sensing, magic isn't exactly cut and dry. By the time I had a clue it was too late and everyone was affected."

"So you hid?" Dinah glared at her.

"No! I was trying to counter it. But I think whoever created it was aware I'd be here...I sort of got attacked in return for my efforts!"

Tess' eyebrows disappeared in to her hair line.

Zatanna shook her head," Doesn't matter how. We need to get them out of there or neutralize it. It will only get worse, and the longer they are under the enchantment the harder it could be to snap them out of it."

"Or recover." Tess added. Her head was still hurting, it was as if she had a really bad hangover.  
Dinah sighed, "Well then lets figure out how to get Lois out of there and stop all this!"

ღ

A.C. grabbed for Bart only to come up with arms full of air. Growling, he turned trying to follow the short blur that zapped around the room taunting him. He was determined to get a hold of the little bastard and pound him one.

Emil gave up trying to watch Bart, it caused him a headache to try and focus on something so fast, and went back to picking through the liqueurs. He decided he didn't like anything with cherry in it, but the raspberry ones were quiet nice, especially the plain chocolate liqueurs with rum. About a dozen of them had been nibbled to taste and identify them because it never occurred to him to read the little chart on the inside of the box. However, he now had the fun of going back and eating all the good ones, which did require re-tasting a few.

Victor had pulled out all the soft gifts or ones he thought had clothes in them, and decided he'd try everything on. Courtney clapped in encouragement while Mera was enjoying watching AC flex his muscles as he occasionally showed off in between cursing and throwing things at Bart who continued to allude him.

ღFrom the Pantry

_I don't think I can express in any language how much Clark Kent drives me crazy.._

" MmmMMM, Clark."

" You like that?"

" MmmMM...more."

"Hmm, lets try this..."

"OHH..."

"..."

"..."

"More?"

"Yes!"

ღ

"I really don't see how this is going to work."

"It will, we just need to either get Clark or Lois. Or preferably both."

"Even better if I can find what it is that's enchanted."

"That's why I said you worry about that and we'll worry about Lois."

"What about Oliver..."

Tess frowned,"Its just wrong on so many levels to leave him like that."

" Yeah well..." Dinah couldn't disagree,"collateral damage...besides we have to stay focused!"

"So do you want Clark duty or shall I take it?"

Zatanna kept trying to concentrate but couldn't, opening up one eye she looked at the two of them," Isn't there some green K around?"

Dinah and Tess both turned to look at her. She held up her hands in defense and calmly added,"I just see it is as being the best option." she smirked."It's not like any of us have a physical chance with tall, dark, and gorgeous soo."

All three women sighed.

Dinah grabbed the lead box from where Lois had left it in the tool box, "Should have used it the first time but Lois went soft."

"Well I would like to point out, having been on the receiving end of Kryptonian anger, that if we don't do this right and he comes after us...it won't end pretty." Tess threw in, her arms crossed.

Zatanna nodded,"True. But all we need is to get him out of the house and pinned down long enough to wipe it out of his system."

"Pin down Clark? Easier said then done. Which is why we need Lois to do this!"

"Okay, so I will focus on Lois then. But we might need this to get her out. "

Tess shook her head,"Yes, however, we play that card and he'll be prepared for it later if he doesn't just out right-"

Dinah held up a hand. "Yes I know. I had thought about that." She slammed the box down "Damn...it shouldn't be this hard to end this!"

" Normally, its not our friends that we're up against either." Tess turned towards the house. "We need something that will bring them all out."

"Fire? It's not that I really want to burn down the Kent farm, but..."

Zatanna spoke up sharply. "Bad idea! It might make the enchantment worse, this one already has..." She looked directly at Tess,"...what you might call firewalls."

"Every firewall has a weakness."

"If we can work out what it is that has the enchantment, then I can figure out the weakness." Zatanna looked as frustrated as the other two felt "Until then."

Tess grabbed her blanket and a pair of shears and made hers into a poncho, then grabbed a saddle bag. "Lets do this then." She gave them her bossy watchtower expression, "We get Lois and get out. You focus on the magic...leave the rest to us. No weakness, let's finish this." She slipped the lead box with the Kryptonite in her bag.

Dinah put her coat on while Zatanna made her own poncho. Once all three felt ready, they headed towards the house. Determination set in their faces, they weren't going to let this deranged celebration go on another hour.

ღ

Oliver found himself hanging awkwardly, and not just that but sticky and wrapped in women stockings. He had opened one eye, squinting, when consciousness returned because the noise around him was like waking in a lunch room cafeteria during a food fight. After becoming adjusted to the chaos, as much as one could be, he then opened the other eye. He wasn't sure what was worse being strung up like a pinata or the sight of A.C.

Arthur, for his part had given up on Bart and the gift which was probably something lame anyway. Instead, he wanted to impress Mera. Oh, how he loved her and wanted to show it. What better way then to sing to her?

Not at all impressed with his efforts, even if Mera was, Oliver glanced around trying to figure out how to get himself down. He could tell by the activities of his comrades and friends they weren't going to be of any use. Once this was over he'd worry about who did this to him, though he had and idea that it was his friends and he couldn't for the life of him understand why.

When Bart walked by, Oliver snapped his eyes closed, pretending to be out of it. He had this terrible feeling that not only would they not help him, they might do something worse to him as well. What level of hell had he woken up too?

This question had extra connotations, as he not only endured A.C's bad singing and dancing but the noises coming from the pantry. He had no desire to know what was going on in there.. while he was sure it was some sort of fun, it had TMI written all over it.

ღ

Tess gave a grunt as she pulled herself up, it would have been easier if it wasn't the middle of winter, dark, and cold. But not everything can be convenient now can it?

Once she was positioned by the bedroom window, Tess flickered the light from flashlight down at Dinah.  
Dinah signaled back with her own, then had the misfortune of looking into the living room window and finding a shirtless A.C. in a Santa hat, belting very badly, at the top of his lungs. While he rubbed his hands down his well toned chest.

"He's making a list and checking it twice. He's going to find out who's naughty and nice..."

The worst of it was when he gyrated at Mera who then seem to find it wonderfully funny.

Dinah rolled her eyes, wishing she could wash them and her mind as she went for the door. Time to make her second unwanted entrance of the night, and for everyone's sake ruin A.C's Christmas concert. She wasn't sure, however, if Clark being out of the room was such a good thing or not.

Zatanna was at the back door, waiting for the best moment to go in and see if she could sense the object that was the source for their predicament. She found it a bit irritating that it had got the best of her so far, and very much wanted to disenchant it and go after who ever set this up.

ღ

Lois' hand reached out trying to grasp anything at all. Her mind could barely find a thought to focus on, Clark was just too much...it was good...oh so very good but...

She managed to grab a can of beans and squeeze that. "Claarrk!"

"Mmm..." He pulled away and looked her in the eyes."Lois..."

"I...I need to be able to um..." she pushed at his chest. What did she need? There was something she needed to do or stop, _but what was it? Oh, if only he'd stop...why did he have to make this so hard!_

"I need a moment, just give me a moment to breath!"

His eyes twinkled at her, but he pulled back and sat up. Lois closed her shirt feeling like a school girl hiding in a supply closet with her secret lover. She felt dirty...she had never felt that way when they had played on the porch swing, _but this! Their friends were right outside the pantry. There are way too many kinds of wrong in this!_

"I love you!" He whispered.

She believed it, felt it, definitely had been feeling it, but right at that moment she wanted to allow the famous Lois Lane reflex to kick in so she could hide. If she didn't, she was going to let him take her under again, because Lois loved Clark too.

What was wrong with her? Her mind was screaming now that she could breath, the nagging thought that she was missing something had begun to become clear. She was suppose to be saving them, not getting to second and third base among shelved food.

"I love you too!" She whispered back. Then made for the door but Clark's hand shot out.

"Where are you going?"

Lois swallowed. What could she say to him that would get her out the door.."Clark, I need to pee..."  
He tilted his head, his eyes roving over her, "Really?"

_Did he just x-ray her bladder or something? Damn him! He wasn't playing fair!_

"Yes! Clark I do!" She lied.

"No you don't..." He pulled her away from the door and back into his arms.

Lois groaned. _This was so not right...it's not right Lois, remember! Oh, but it feels good._

Then they heard a loud crash, and the door swung open. Clark's head shot up. They both stared wide eyed at the dripping, stocking covered, partially naked figure of a man before them.

"YOU!" He groaned, reaching a hand out for them.

ღ/ღ


	5. Part 5: The Nutcracker Finish

ღ **Part 5: The Nutcracker Finish** ღ

_At the very moment Clark and I had the living daylights scared out of us by Oliver, Dinah had barged in through the front door, Zatanna snuck in the back while Tess crept in from an upstairs window. The ensuing chaos was akin to one of those terrible comedies. and I know what your thinking...this couldn't really have happened. But it did. I wish it didn't...we all do. I warn you...it's not pretty._

ღ

Dinah hadn't been expecting to react the way she did when she opened the door. The first thing she was confronted with was A.C. rubbing his hands slowly down his body as he began a new song. When he started to reach for one of his manly nipples, Dinah felt something snap inside of her- that was it! Without so much as a word she dived for him, _this party was ending...NOW!_

Emil had been laughing, unable to contain it from bubbling up from inside. It had started at the sight of Oliver as he moved toward the pantry, it reminded Emil of a really crappy zombie movie he had seen many years before, and the syrup dripping off his friend only made it all the better. Then as if that wasn't enough to seal the deal for his funny bone, Dinah had burst through the front door, and charged straight for A.C. who was in the process of singing..

_"Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas  
This is all I'm asking for  
I just want to see my baby." _

Emil had been for the most part tuning A.C. out, but he did have to admit that when the fish man hit the floor and stopped his crooning there was wonderful bit of silence. Even if it lasted only a minute to be replaced by the grunting of fighting.

Victor had been trying on various clothing items, one of which was supposed to be between Lois and Clark and opened privately, however it had been snatched up by the cyborg. He had draped the negligee over his chest, Emil didn't think the colour suited him at all, as he continued pulling out clothes. He had just begun to pull out a holiday looking sweater when Mera, who was sitting near Victor and Courtney, yelled out. Her cry of alarm brought him out of his musing on how to both wear the nightie and the sweater, springing to action he went to help A.C., negligee still on him.

Courtney hadn't been particularly caring for A.C's singing and favoured Dinah anyway so she followed right after Victor to join the foray. The fighting wasn't exactly any of the hero's best, at least not in Emil's opinion, he found himself yelling remarks like.

"She is over there...no over there!"

"If you breathed in deeper from you diaphragm you'll get better control."

" Oh...OUCH! Um that's gonna hurt later you know"

None of which were helpful to any of the participants.

Bart didn't bother to join in as he couldn't care one way or the other why it had started, or in helping. Instead, he was focused on perusing the snacks, which he had laid out on the kitchen counter, and was enjoying having them all to himself. All that racing around A.C. had made him very hungry, Lois would understand, its not as if Clark can't make a quick trip to the store later.

ღ

"OH Oliver...you woke up." Clark smirked once the initial startle had passed.

Lois snatched the blanket, wrapping it around her waist then quickly buttoned up Clark's flannel shirt she was wearing, feeling more then a little guilty. The whole time though, Clark kept his body right next to hers, he still wasn't planning on letting her go anywhere.

Initially Oliver hadn't planned on going over to the pantry, but after pulling himself down he had begun to feel a little more then a bit peeved. Clark had a lot of explaining to do. Struggling to find his voice, he couldn't be sure of it but he was certain that some one had poured syrup down his throat and not just all over him." YOU! You did this to me..." It came out a croak.

" Uh...yeah.." Clark gave him a look as if to say 'well of course we did, duh'.

Oliver only looked more pissed off which was pretty scary with all the syrup that covered his face. Lois felt a little creeped out every time she looked at him. He reached a sticky hand out and grabbed Lois before either her or Clark could react.

"I see! No holiday goodies for you then!" He said before pushing Lois behind him and shutting the door.  
Lois had a been about to thank him for getting her out of there and Oliver had been about to ask what in the name of sanity was going on when the front door swung open and Dinah tackled A.C. They could only watch in mortification as an all out fight began, after a moment they looked back at each other.

"Okay Legs...spit it out...what is going on! Because this...this can't be..."

Oliver stopped and quickly pulled Lois down when a piece of her coffee table went flying towards them. Before it had a chance to go over their heads, it hit Clark's chest. He then turned to face them, "You took my wife!"

"You strung me up!"

"Oh, come on! Look," Lois stepped between the two of them,"Can we save the caveman ego crap for later?"  
Clark grabbed her arm, not enough to hurt her but there was no way she was getting out of his grasp."He needs to apologize..." He looked down at her with concern as if Oliver had done something to her. "I won't ever let anything happen to you."

Lois smiled at him, it was sweet, it really was, but so not the time and place for sugary sentiments. She put a hand on his chest. "Clark, he didn't hurt me...but we need to stop all of this! " She waved her other arm indicating the fight still going on behind them.

Unable to grasp what she was referring to he just stared at her. Lois thought it was strange how deeply affected Clark was by the enchantment. Shouldn't being Kryptonian come with some sort of charm resistance? If she had written the rules it would have, that and the ability to avoid random women kissing him.

" Yes, we do need to stop this Lois." He replied, looking lovingly down at her before glaring at Oliver. "This..." He pointed a finger, "Trash is being taken out!"

Oliver balked," Trash!" His voice almost becoming high pitched. "Excuse me! I didn't pinata myself...and I was just saving Lois from your horn-"

"Lois does NOT need your help."

"Please boys," Lois began but it was too late.

Clark grabbed Oliver, which wasn't easy with the syrup, and hoisted him over his head, spinning him around. Oliver screamed as he was twirled at a very fast speed, arms and legs failing, and in the process the mistletoe got knocked and went flying at Zatanna.

Emil had chosen the wrong time to stand up and find more to eat. No matter where he looked something interesting was going on and he figured while he enjoyed the show he might as well have a snack. The last thing he remembered before getting knocked out was Oliver's horrified face coming towards his at an alarming rate.

Lois couldn't move any closer without risking becoming a victim of Clark's spinning Oliver top."Clark! Clark! You're gonna kill him!"

The fight in the living room came to a stand still as the four partakers stopped to watch, each of them sporting bruises and other abrasions. Dinah quickly bent down to check on Emil. Bart grabbed a bowl of chips and retreated to a corner.

Just when it seemed that Clark was going to spin Oliver to death, Clark grunted and suddenly hit the floor, Oliver dropping on top of him.

"Sorry Lois!"

Turning around, Lois found Tess standing on the staircase, green kryptonite in hand. "There wasn't any other choice.. We need to get him outside."

Without hesitation, Lois and Tess began to pull at Clark, who had curled up into a ball."I am so sorry Clark...I really am!" Lois began as she tugged at him.

After getting his scrambled brain to slow down and his stomach to steady, Oliver came over to help them as they slowly inched the unhappy agonizing superhero to the back door.

"What is going on?" Oliver asked hoarsely.

"There is an enchantment...it's got everyone all...doolally. If we get him outside we can break its hold on him, then the others."

Zatanna was looking at the mistletoe then glanced over to Lois "It is about him."

"What...?" Tess, Oliver, Lois and Dinah all asked as one.

"It was designed for Clark. I am sure of it, the rest of us just got the tail end of it."

Closing her eyes, concentrating, Zatanna continued, "I think...if Clark dest..." She jumped back dropping it, the mistletoe steaming, her hands burned. Zatanna looked over at Lois,"It has to be him, it can't be burned it has..." then she pulled a funny expression, eyes rolling into the back of her head, she fainted.  
Tess, Lois and Oliver exchanged alarmed looks.

"Get it away from him...now, we need Clark!"

Tess put the Kryptonite back into its box and into her bag. Wondering what Lois was up to. Lois squeezed Clark's hand as his pain dissipated then stood, making a decision she knew no one would like, but it had to be done. If Zatanna was right then this could finally end...

Taking a deep breath, Lois grabbed at the mistletoe which burned her skin causing her to cry out in pain. Clark was suddenly at her side, just like she had hoped he would be. Since he had been determined to protect her needlessly from Oliver, she figured he would help her here. Some things even enchantments couldn't change.

Tears streaming down her face, Lois leaned back against the fridge and slid to the floor, Clark knelt beside her. She dropped the mistletoe into his hands,"Clark..."

"Oh Lois! Why did you pick it up? You're hurt!" He seemed to barely register the mistletoe. His eyes roving over her hands.

_When you love someone you sometimes have to trust them even if it goes beyond reason or when reason is gone. This was the moment we all needed. Bruised and battered and in some cases unconscious they waited, I pleaded. It needed to end._

"Never mind about that Clark" Despite the pain her voice remained steady, "I need you to focus. You need to crush it Clark. Crush the mistletoe"

"Why?" he looked genuinely confused.

Lois touched her forehead to his,"Clark please...if you want to protect me then please crush the mistletoe, its time to be Superman!"

He heard her words but he couldn't understand why she would want him to do this. It was just mistletoe. It was harmless wasn't it? He twisted it between his fingers and felt such a deep sense of peace from it. Lois was being silly...how could anything be wrong. He had already forgotten about her hands.

Sensing what was going through him, she brought her hand up so he could see the burns and gingerly touched the side of his face, needing him to understand how serious she was. How serious the situation was.

"Smallville...trust me. I know its hard to think, I know you don't understand what's going on but you need." She put emphasis on the words, "to trust me." Her voice going to a whisper, lips gently touching his, "Crush it!"

Clark closed his eyes at the soft touch of her lips. Trying hard to grasp what she was saying. When he opened his eyes and met hers he knew. There was love and truth in those hazel eyes, he still didn't understand why she felt this way but this was Lois. If this was what she wants then he would do it, anything for her.

He gently took her hand from his face, "I always trust you Lois..."

Pulling away, he positioned the mistletoe between his hands and pushed, pulverizing it completely. The air around them became suddenly very thick and rolled away like a wave. It passed through each of the others, knocking those standing off their feet.

Lois waited to feel the pressure, the tickle that had been at the back of her mind since she had reentered the house to lift. It didn't. Frowning she looked up at Clark, he seemed more aware but not completely. Glancing at Oliver who was once again picking himself up off the floor she asked, "Are we missing something?"

Oliver glanced around, taking a deep breath then stopped,"Its the scent...the mistletoe it had a really strong fruity smell right?"

"Yes." Lois nodded."I can still smell it. You think that's why he's still..." She glanced at Clark who just stared at her, she could tell he was trying hard to understand but wasn't quite getting there. At least it was better then him jumping her bones or trying to murder his friend in her defense when she didn't need it.

Lois turned to Dinah as Oliver looked at Tess and Bart who were near him.

"Open the door!"

"Open the windows! Everything!"

"All of it...wide open!"

When the others just stood there looking stupefied, which Lois understood why but didn't have time for, she exclaimed at them.

"Now! Hop to it, every window...oh and Victor, take off my clothes!" Having just noticed what he had around his neck. _Really?_

"I need one last thing honey." Having turned back to Clark, regaining his attention.

He smiled at her gently with that lopsided grin of his, eyes still very much glazed over but his focus was on her which was good."What is it Lois...what do you need?" He ended seriously.

"We've opened up all the windows and doors, Clark we need to clear the air, we need cold...um...fresher air. I need you to get that fruity scent out of the house...can you do that?"

After a moment of maintaining eye contact with her, he nodded. Lois went for her coat and tossed a few to the others, indicating for them to put them on and kneel down. Oliver and Tess caught on right away, and knelt together under her blanket.

Clark inhaled deeply then blew, turning himself so as to circulate the air. Within moments the rooms were covered in a thin layer of frost as the warmer air departed, the fire in the fire place died, and the cold wind came in from outside the house.

Shivering, Lois looked up slowly when he finished, feeling a slight touch of ice in her hair. It was done.. she could feel it. All the pressure was gone and when she looked over at Clark and met his gaze she could see it. He was clear. They ran to each other in excitement. Tess started to hug Oliver but stopped because of the syrup but that didn't stop them grinning. Dinah also cheered, though A.C. and the rest smiled but looked a tad confused.

Lois knew she should be upset at the state of their house, the fact it was freezing but she wasn't. As she began closing the windows and doors a different sort of reality sunk in. All the happy relief in the house stopped and the awkwardness settled in the room, as each person realized how they had behaved.

Rubbing her arms, Lois looked over at Clark who had turned a funny shade of red. "Um, Clark...do you think you could warm it back up in here?"

"Sure." His voice barely a whisper.

He blew gently and the temperature went up and the house became much more comfortable. But the tension was still there as glances were exchanged. No one knew exactly how to brooch the subject.

Oliver broke the silence,"Well, I am sticky, cold, and in my underwear and since I didn't do this to myself...I'm expecting you to get me some fresh clothes and oh I'm using your shower." The mostly naked, stocking covered, syrup drenched man then disappeared up the stairs.

Dinah looked over at A.C. then Clark" I'm sorry...I..."

A.C. shook his head, while pulling Mera to him "Forget it."

Clark shuffled and looked down " No, I am..."

"Clark, I deserved it. "

Lois raised an eyebrow and shook her head,"How about we decide that what happened here tonight...stays here?" She had never actually expected to be saying that line for a Christmas party.

Bart gave a slight smile,"Sounds good to me...alright then. I'll...do kitchen clean up then I'm out of here."

ღ

_There was a complete agreement to never speak about what happened at the party. Everyone quietly helped to clean up, each lost in their own thoughts. It truly was the party everyone would remember and never mention. Now, even years later, the party is never directly referred to and if for some reason someone who wasn't there brings it up, an uncomfortable silence fills the room._

ღ/ღ


	6. Part 6: Undisclosed Shenanigans

Sorry not the romantic part yet folks.

ღ **Epilogue 1: Undisclosed Shenanigans** ღ

The day after Christmas

"Can I just say again how happy I am your husband didn't kill my boyfriend." Chloe declared again after hearing an abridged tale of the party from the dark side of the force. She slapped at her cousin lightly, as Lois tried to reach for a bag, "Your hands need to heal. Back off and go sit down!"

Lois growled,"I am not an invalid! You're just as bad as Clark, for goodness sake's Chloe, I have a few first degree burns I'm not a charred lump!" She grabbed a bag then winced at the pain, gritting her teeth as she headed into the house.

Chloe rolled her eyes and grabbed the remaining two and followed her."Most of them are 1st degree Lois, you are going to regret that, and I don't want to end up on Clark's to do list thank you very much!"

"Please he's not that bad..."

"So now you're taking his side?"

Lois shook her head and went searching for the pain meds. Finding them, she frowned realizing she wouldn't be able to open them without causing herself more pain.

"I can choose whatever side I want whenever I wish. He's mine..." She gave Chloe a proud smile.

"Uh huh." Chloe grabbed the bottle and opened it for her.

"Still, while I get the whole Clark was the target and everyone else got varying degrees of the loopys, that doesn't answer the question of who sent it...signed with an 'X'?" she began putting the food way, before Lois could get to it. One of the reasons she had come over and taken Lois shopping was so her cousin wouldn't make herself worse and worry Clark.

Lois wasn't blind to the whole babysitting duties, but sat and watched Chloe help anyway. If honest with herself, she was a little tired and her hands throbbed and it was nice to see Chloe. "It's not Lex if that's what you're thinking though that would be convenient. Zatanna says whoever sent it was good at not leaving a magical signature, but has to be pro at the whole enchanting mumbo jumbo."

Chloe looked back at her annoyed at the fact whoever had done this was unknown, she was going to do her own investigating, if anything for Oliver's sake. He hadn't said much other then he was steering clear of all holiday festivities for an undefined amount of time and all mistletoe should be eradicated. Trying to get him to brooch the details was like trying to clap with one hand. Lois had been a bit more forth coming with the generalities though hadn't disclosed much in details.

Handing her the ice cream she knew Lois would be asking for, she added,"I am sorry I missed it...sort of."

Lois took the ice cream, loving the cold on her hands, and narrowed her eyes,"Yes, it is funny how you couldn't come. I know you gave me plenty of notice but still. Then I had to drag Oliver here...which I regret."

Chloe slapped a packet of cheese on the table," Okay that's it, Lois. What in the world happened? And don't give me the whole ' it was just a bit of this and that'. Oliver acts almost traumatized and he's been tortured before...so spill it!"

Lois, wide eyed, swallowed back her ice cream then leaned forward pointing her spoon at Chloe. "Okay, I will. _If_you divulge where you were and what you doing when you could have witnessed it first hand."

"I told you...I had project planned and I couldn't change it."

"A project, gee cuz you're so chopped full of helpful information..."

"No need for the sarcasm, besides I promised to spend the day with you! So don't act like you're neglected."

"I'm not, Chloe, but you're being all secretive! "

"Just as much as you with what happened at the party."

"I need more than 'project' Chlo..."

"Fine, fine...I have a surprise for Oliver and unfortunately I couldn't finalize the details at a more convenient date. " She sighed then stuck a finger in Lois face,"Oh, and no I can't tell you what the surprise is...it's personal!"

Lois just grinned back,"Oh personal...I see!" then took a deep breath before beginning.

"Well, since I got a little more than 'project'...lets say that the enchanted mistletoe induced behavior not only included Clark trying to spin Oliver to death and Emil getting his face bruised, but stripping, bad singing, opening all presents and wearing them, destroying my home, and pantry sexshh...shenanigans."

At the last bit Lois blushed, she hadn't actually meant to blurt that out.

"Oh." Chloe raised a brow, and decided she wasn't putting away the canned goods after the mental picture that formed from Lois' unintentional exclusive.

"Though what part of all that has made Oliver go all phobic on me." His reaction to the pancakes that morning had completely unnerved her.

" Um..." Lois twirled her spoon in the ice cream,"I can't tell you what happened with him Chloe. He'd kill me, besides I don't have all those details myself. I am sure eventually he'll open up and tell you."

This had her thinking about the whole Dinah and Clark issue. He had reassured her repeatedly that it wasn't anything sexual, but whatever it was had them both awkward with each other and turned him red. She did believed him, he was able to make eye contact with her but he also was infuriatingly quiet about it.

Which made her wonder if Dinah had done something that was embarrassing for her, and Clark being the gentleman, was keeping the lid on it for Dinah's sake. It was going to drive her crazy mostly because she knew he wasn't going to budge on it, that and the fact she knew whatever it was had made Clark throw Dinah out of the house.

Chloe shook her head knowing she wasn't going to get more then that from Lois. Putting the last of the cold stuff away, she grabbed for Lois."Come. Let's watch that movie like we used to years ago.. "

Originally, it was supposed to be Chloe and Oliver visiting for Christmas day, but after the party, Oliver bailed out and neither Lois or Clark seemed to be bothered by that. Lois, however, had needed a babysitter while Clark had Superman duties. So she figured she'd spend the day after Christmas with her cousin who had a belated Christmas dinner date with Clark in the evening. After the other night the three had, it seemed they all needed a lack of holiday get togetherness, more then two people and it was a crowd.

Lois smiled and sat down, "Since you are my servant..." She laughed at the expression on Chloe's face."You can put the movie in."

ღ/ღ

_**to be continued..**_


	7. Epilogue: Roasting Fire War

PG-13 fluffy smut and I hope you lot are happy..I think I gave you what you wanted!

ღ **Epilogue 2: Roasting Fire War** ღ

_Nothing else may have gone right that holiday, but the one thing I can count on is Clark and his way of making everything better._

ღ

She looked peaceful when she slept, like nothing was wrong in the world, especially hers. Her face was at ease, her body pressed tight to his and yet relaxed. Relaxed wasn't really the word Clark would have used for it.

She had taken over.

Head in the crook of his arm, her arm draped across his chest while her legs were wrapped around his. He was pretty sure if he tried to blur away to save the world she would wake. Thank goodness the long day was over and peace seemed to have settled on the world.

The day after Christmas and he had spent it cleaning up damage from a minor earthquake and saving survivors. He had barely managed to pick up several new gifts since most of their other gifts to each other had been destroyed from the party.

The overall damage done by the festive occasion had included the couch, end table, coffee table, stair case railing, Christmas tree, ornaments, presents, damp curtains and upholstery, that kinda smelled now, and they were still finding syrup spots.

Lois had dealt with most of it. The couch and railing were fixable, end table was no big deal, Christmas tree was replaceable. But the coffee table had been brand new and Lois hadn't taken to its loss well. She had spent fifteen minutes, after everyone left, ranting about it alone.

Clark, though, wasn't fooled, as bothered as she was at losing the piece of furniture, it was the party going horribly wrong that had her really upset. She kept insisting she was okay, though it was obvious to him she was far from it. Knowing it wasn't his fault didn't change how bad he felt, nor his desire to fix things. He couldn't undo any of it but he was going to make it up to her.

First, he had come home with dinner, her favourite Thai cuisine directly from Thailand itself, then he had given her a gift. One that presently lay over them as they laid in front of the fire. The very soft, luxury fleece blanket was now all either of them wore and he smiled at how she had stolen most of it. It was a good thing he wasn't bothered by the cold.

Reluctant to disturb her slumber and yet eager to continue their 'date', Clark felt torn for a moment. She needed the sleep with her hands still healing, and the pain medication they gave her had her just a touch loopy. Not that it stopped them from enjoying themselves, Lois considered it a challenge, and Lois took such challenges very seriously. They were suppose to have opened the other gifts but the blanket had side tracked Lois...and how could he say no.

Clark had made sure to baby her since the party, giving her plenty of TLC since her hands were so raw, even if it meant being annoying. She would appreciate it later when her hands were healed and she could work without pain, or needing help.

"Lois." He called softly, brushing some of her hair back from her face, the normally organized locks were all in disarray. She had bed hair, which he found quite sexy.

When she didn't stir he tried again, "Lois. Sweetheart…"

" Hmm..." she finally let out. Snuggling her face into his chest.

"Wakey, wakey..." He murmured as he kissed her cheek and trailed his fingers down her arm. Careful not to touch her tender hand.

"Nopey nopey..." she grumbled into him.

He smiled at her response and tried a different tactic, "Hungry for dessert?"

"MmmmMm...you know me." She now looked up at him, a slight smirk playing a cross her lips, their eyes locking."It can take me a while to, you know, become sated..." He felt a finger trailing down his stomach and lower. He had so walked into that one.

"Uuhh..." Eyes widening at her tease."...Loiiis...I...was talking about food."

"Hmm...I know." she gave a slight but serious nod then rolled herself, careful of her hands, so she was sitting on top of him."But hmm, lets see dessert, or Clark Kent? I think I'd prefer the farm boy."

He fought the urge to grin, trying to maintain a serious expression."You say that now...but, you don't even know what the dessert is."

Lois leaned down slowly, making sure her bare chest met fully with his, their lips just slightly touching  
"Maybe I desire something other than baked goods or sugary confectionery."

He pushed up to kiss her but she pulled back, flicking her hair behind her and stared down at him. Teasing Clark Kent was a hobby and one she was very good at.

"Nuh uh uh...you don't get to kiss me." She shook her head.

"What? Why?" His hands roamed up her legs and sides.

"Because," She closed her eyes at his touch then shook herself, putting a finger to her lip. "Because…you have to pay for the pantry."

Clark couldn't help himself, he both laughed and blushed,"Ohh I see! for that..I thought you enjoyed yourself." He smirked.

" I never said I didn't enjoy it but as it now stands, you, Mr. Kent…" She shifted herself so there was no way that Clark could become distracted, as if he would."have to be punished…thoroughly."

"Punished? I think we should have that dessert, you've obviously had a blood sugar drop. Because I keenly remember you asking for more…"

Lois shook her head."Sorry, that trick doesn't work on me buddy, so am I to take it then that you're not interested…" She lifted her arms above her head then behind her, stretching to make sure all her attributes were well...hard to miss and looked at him coyly."...in me…?"

Clark felt the heat that had been rising along his spine now release fully, he began to sweat from it, only Lois Lane could make him feel this hot and bothered and keep it going. He resisted the urge to pull her down and steal a kiss and more. He liked her teasing, Lois lane was never boring - ever.

"Its not that…" He began, interrupted by her softly biting his bottom lip.

"What?"

"I was just sort...of...hoping...we'd,"

"Yes?" She was making good use of her finger tips that weren't burned, caressing down his sides, his chest, slowly, knowing she was driving him mad.

"Make it past…" He was struggling at this point to keep focused on what he was trying to say.

"I'm listening." Lois loved the way his muscles tightened against her touch, his resistance and yet desire for more. Every bit of him was reacting, she could feel him beneath her, sending up a rush of tingling heat through her core.

"Make it past..." He repeated in between her kissing him, caressing and nipping at his neck and chest. His next words on naked and bed were lost in the moan she got out of him.

"We aren't in a bed Smallville." she smiled against his neck, taking another nip.

"That's because we never made it there..." he gasped, she had such amazingly naughty fingers.

"I know right?" Lois sat up and grinned."A real shocker! As if that's never happened before."

"Hmm…" he couldn't take it, the momentary break she was giving him was only making his desire for her worse. He pushed up so he was sitting with her in his lap, grabbing her by the arms, pinning them to her side as he caught her mouth with his, pouring all the pent up lust for her into it.

Lois didn't fight it. This was exactly the reaction she wanted, he was so damn sexy when he was like this with her. Demanding from her, taking and yet every touch was gentle and sensual. She melted completely into him, their bodies becoming one as she wrapped her legs around his waist, his arms around her.

Dessert was completely forgotten. Again.

ღ Some time later

"Ice cream!"

Clark opened his eyes, still breathing heavily."That's all you can say after...is...ice cream?"

Lois giggled and pulled the blanket to wrap around herself but Clark grasped it firmly preventing her from stealing it all the way."I don't think so Ms. Lane."

Turning, Lois scowled. "Naked man by the fire or naked woman pattering her way to the freezer, who do you think needs it more?"

He scowled back.

"You gave it as a gift Smallville, so I win."

Clark laughed and let go as he leaned back. She pulled it the rest of the way off him, wrapping the blanket around her and giving him the once over - a long once over before giggling again and making her way to the fridge.

"Which flavour?"

"Whatever you want." As if it wouldn't be anyway. She would ask then generally pick the flavour contrary to what he said. Clark loved the way she did that, would steal his food and coffee, things she had done since they had first worked together, some of it since they had first met. If his buttons got pushed, he'd rather they be by her.

"Smallville...come on name a flavour."

"Rocky Road."

"See, now was that so hard?" She said, coming back with Butter Pecan instead and two spoons.

"That's not rocky road Lois." He had to react or ruin the point.

"I know." She shrugged handing him his spoon, relishing how the cold ice cream tub felt so good on her hands."I realized I wasn't in the mood for it."

"Uh huh."

She spooned some out and looked him over like she wanted to ask him something. Clark took the tub, getting his own spoonful and returned her stare."Yes Lois?"

"What?"

"You want to ask me something, don't you?"

"Uh." She hated that he could read her like that," Yeah, sorta."

" Sorta?"

Lois suddenly pointed the spoon at him, a hint of frustration in her voice."Look here...you may have the moves but this whole not telling me what happened with Dinah thing, is going to drive me crazy, and not in the good kind 'I am gonna punish you later and make you scream' sort of way!" A blob of ice cream fell off her spoon.

Clark was quick and caught it with his own spoon, earning himself a glare.

"That wouldn't have almost happened if you would just tell me!"

She was frustrated, he thought, how did she think he felt? He wanted to pretend most of the party never happened but every time Dinah's name came up he felt himself go red. Worst of it was he hadn't done anything with her. Telling Lois that, which was the truth, didn't stop her from being the bull dog on his pant leg.

"Lois… there is nothing to tell."

"OH no you don't Smallville! You wouldn't go bright red like Rudolph if it was nothing!"

"I promise we never kissed or anything like that…I promise!"

Lois shoved the spoon into the container and put it behind her so that Clark couldn't get his next spoonful."Then tell me."

"Or what, you're gonna hold the ice cream hostage?"

"Maybe…"

"Lois, you have it next to the fire, its gonna melt."

"So!"

"You're not going to let up on this are you?" He put his spoon aside and raised a brow.

What to tell her? How to even explain it. He wasn't sure he could. Some of the party was a jumble of hazy images and that part was one of them. He could barely remember stringing Ollie up let alone explain the whole Dinah issue. But the look in her eyes told him she wasn't going to take that explanation.

"Sex!"

"What?"

"I will hold sex hostage till you tell me, which I know will drive you mental."

"I'm not that bad! You're worse than me…who jumps who the most?"

_Damn! He had her there._"Clark tell me or I'll hide your suit...all variations of it too."

"Oh it's like that, is it?" He leaned forward, their faces now only inches from each other, both wearing a scowl of equal frustration."Well Lane, you forget I know exactly where to touch you. I know all the best places. I'll drive you crazy...you'll want to jump me...but hmm, with holding it hostage you won't be able to."

Lois glared. He was determined and giving as good as he got. _Stupid sexy man! Why wouldn't he tell her?_Pressing her lips together, she brought her face that much closer to his.

"I'll do the same and I know exactly what to wear to turn you on. How much can the spaceman take when I am prancing around in my underwear? Especially that little... "

Clark knew that this 'war' was going to end bloody. They'd both be a terrible mess if they lived up to their threats, thoughts of her prancing around the house were already causing a reaction. The woman was going to be the death of him.

"Lois...I can't tell you because I don't remember it clearly." He blurted out. They were both now standing naked in the middle of the living room.

She laughed mirthlessly."OH really? how convenient."

"It's true!"

"Then how do you know that it wasn't a kiss or something like that?"

She had him on that one. Didn't she understand he actually appreciated the mental block from what had transpired?

"Lois!"

"Clark!"

"LOis"

"Saying my name, Smallville, with that tone isn't going to change any of this... I will hold my body hostage if you don't tell me." She wore a complete look of determination. Actually it was the only thing she wore, the blanket having been forgotten sitting between them.

Clark put a hand to his face and groaned,"Okay, what if I told you what I remember... would that be acceptable for a truce?"

"Maybe, depends on what you remember."

Taking a deep breath, Clark snatched up the blanket covering himself, suddenly feeling exposed. "Alright…" He began, finding himself continuing with each word coming out fast, as if it would ease the tension he felt. "A.C, Bart and Dinah, I think, had been arguing about something...I wasn't really paying attention as I was too busy putting the tights on Oliver." He felt guilty for that. "Then the next thing I know, Dinah..." He paused unsure of how to continue."Wasn't wearing um…"

Lois gave him a look, Clark swallowed, finding his voice again, which had gone up an octave and wavered a little."I'm not sure why she didn't have it on...anyway I heard them and came around the corner and ran right into her...my hands sort of went…" He was red now, completely." It was totally accidental...then Dinah sort of said something that made it worse and I overreacted…"

She was quiet, this wasn't good, Clark felt a panic rise inside him. "Lois, I promise you! It wasn't anything but that… I broke the railing in my attempt to move away from her when I realized."

Narrowing her eyes, Lois finally replied."Soo...what parts don't you remember?"

" Uh…well what I told you is...well what I pieced together...it's kind of a jumble of images. The only thing I really remember is you in the pantry." It was Lois' turn to change colours.

He was looking at her with such worry and panic that Lois knew he had spilled it all. She wanted to be mad but couldn't, the whole party had turned out to be one series of ridiculous moments after another. Since the whole enchantment had been designed for him, it wasn't really surprising that he had most of the worst behavior, and from his tale he hadn't done anything to instigate that moment. Lois actually felt a little proud he had worked extra hard to get away from Dinah and broke half the staircase railing. His reaction time was getting better. There was hope for him yet.

"Lois?"

Looking back at him, Lois sighed and gave him a small smile."Alright Smallville, the truce is on...nothing held hostage."

That lopsided grin she loved spread over his face. He had a look like he wanted to grab her right then but wasn't sure if he should.

Lois rolled her eyes and laughed, earning a confused expression from him. "What?"

"You. You are such..." She didn't even have the words for what he was. Instead, she covered the tiny bit of space between them and kissed him deeply.

"Did you honestly think I'd be able to keep up my end of that war? Really? You're right, I would have had to jump you. Especially if you had touched..."

She never got to finish the statement. For Clark pulled her close, his mouth claiming hers, hands touching that very spot...Lois had no chance, nor did she care.

And the ice cream melted.

ღ

Somewhere far away from the Kent farm, someone planned. So the mistletoe hadn't worked but that wasn't the only weapon in their arsenal, Superman would regret his actions. It may be years but patience was a virtue…and it was true, revenge was best served cold.

**FIN!**

ღ/ღ


End file.
